As a teacher of "Boundaries", structure, setting limits, and following through with consequences, it may seem a little oxymoronical (is that even a word?) to say that I wholeheartedly believe in risking, taking chances and jumping in with both feet...in almost every aspect of my life. I am willing to fail, so I am willing to risk. This is fairly easy for me to do with businesses, purchases, job choices, spontaneous road-trips, pajama bowling, and midnight runs to Mc Donald's, ...but what about relationships? Am I so quick to go "all in" with my heart? Admittedly....yes, I am. Now let me preface the following with my NOT advocating taking risks with things, situations or people who are harmful to or for you. And by all means, please do not mistake the following to say that you should STAY in a situation that is harmful. Guard your heart from those who will not care for yours...and never settle for less than God's very best for you...in anything. Not always easy to figure out where the balance is, but you must try. That being said, I digress...a topic for another time.
Maybe I look at life a little differently than some of my friends or others around me. I may appear impetuous, adventurous, impulsive, foolhardy, even reckless! And alas...again, guilty as charged.
Although, I prefer to call it "passionate". :)
Getting out of bed each day, putting one foot in front of the other, involves risk. We may trip on our way out of bed, break our face and internally bleed to death. (Oh, did I forget to mention "dramatic"?) Or we could get in a car wreck on our way to work and ... game over. Or, at our annual pap and boob squishing sessions (sorry to my male readers, but your "annual" isn't much prettier), we may get the dreaded news that time may be shorter than we had thought on our way into the Dr.'s office. Our time on earth is extremely short, when you consider the eternal scheme of things. At least from my perspective. My existence is defined by what the Bible says, and the Bible says I will exist for eternity. My time on earth, however, is but a dust particle in that eternity...a "breath", if you will. So I try not to get too tweaked over the things that happen in or around my particular piece of dust. I also try to cram as many "memory making" opportunities into each and every breath. Yes, it is exhausting; however, if there is an opportunity to try something new, experience a new food, ride the metro in D.C. in 5 degree weather just to spend all day looking at paintings in the Smithsonian, sit in the front seat of a stupidly scary roller-coaster, jump out of a plane, hop on the train or road-trip to Chicago to eat sushi and shop for the day, cruise through Europe with absolutely no plan or idea of where to go next...you can probably sign me up. So then back to my heart. What about the people in my life? After many years of learning how to have "healthy" boundaries in life (which I am still learning to do, by the way...life is a never ending class), I want to embrace with full gusto those that cross my path. And if given the opportunity, to genuinely listen to and hear their "story". I consider each and every person who comes into my life one who was destined to be there. Some for a moment in time, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. So, in which of them will I invest? All of them...or at least I will try.
"But you'll never see that person again; what's it going to matter?"
"But they're moving next month; why invest your time?"
"But what if they don't love you back?"
All valid questions...and all that warrant an answer.
To that person that crossed my path for an instant in time: I smiled. Maybe their world fell apart 10 minutes ago, and there I was...with a smile, or an opened door, or cuts in the grocery line, or a warm pair of socks. Perhaps it took just one smile in the line, one smile as we passed on the street, one smile as a broken heart looked out through tears for hope...to that one, that instant in time mattered. It may have even saved a life.
To that person that is leaving soon, moving away, or just here visiting on vacation. What are you risking by getting to know that person and take advantage of every second you are given with them? If you "click", why not enjoy the time? I don't know about you, but I don't necessarily "click" with that many people. Maybe because my life saunters along at warp speed.............? Hmmmmmmmmm......
Man, I thank God for my friends! (Pause for deep appreciation for those who love, accept and believe in me...)
Is not the greater reward of friendship or imparted wisdom or a day of laughter and a common bond worth the pain of saying "goodbye"? In this day of insanely advanced technology, where there are numerous ways to communicate, you are never too far away to "reach out and touch" or be touched by a kind word in a text, email or letter, or an uplifting phone call, face time or skype.
To the failed relationship? I am so sorry for your pain. Love lost is incredibly hurtful. Were there any redeeming things from your time together? Did you laugh? Learn? Love and be loved...if only for a moment? Treasure those times and appreciate them for what they were...adding to what makes you "you" today. Learn from any of the mistakes you may have made...and allow it to become wisdom for your future choices.
I miss my friends desperately, but I am a better person for all who I have invested in, and they in me...for whatever time we were given. Maybe we'll see each other again this side of Heaven; maybe we won't...but I would have lost terribly if not for the time I took to invest in and with each and every one of those I chose to connect with, regardless of the duration. This season of my life is seemingly coming to an end...again. I am truly heartbroken (more-so than I can remember with previous moves) over some of those I will be leaving...maybe for good. People I have grown to love with so much of my being. But I treasure their friendship and the time they have given (and continue to give) me. I am a better person because of them. And I hope, in some small way, I have touched and affected their lives for the better as well. And if by chance we do reconnect? I am confident it will be as if no time had passed. That is the beauty of true friendship and the bonds we create...they exist outside of time and distance...when we take the chance and risk.
Don't miss out on the amazing reward of risking your heart. Yes, it will hurt when you say "goodbye", but I guarantee the memories, growth, smiles, and return on your investment will far outweigh the pain...if you let them.
The degree that you are willing to risk and hurt
is in direct proportion to the degree that you are able to love.
Don't miss out on love...regardless of the duration.
To not have risked is the real loss.
RISK! INVEST! MAKE A MEMORY!
TAKE A CHANCE AND LOVE FOR A MOMENT!
Who knows...you may hit the jackpot and experience fulfillment and love beyond what you could ask or imagine...
It truly is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
<3
